Friday, September 26, 2008

(Not so) Fair Day

Last weekend, a group of us went to the fair. It was my first time ever going (as far as I can remember anyway). It was not a good experience for me.

Let me just tell you ONE of the things that happened that just made my whole fair day not so fair. Note that I am already in a horrible mood by the time this event happens. Jeremy had already cussed at the carnie running the rollercoaster ride because we were BOTH supposed to fit in this tiny bucket seat - and our butts are so big that the divider was hurting his thigh...and the ride was $5 a piece

seriously!?!? We should be able to be comfortable at that kinda price.

Back to the story - we are mad, and I really wanted a stuffed animal - but you have to win one. And most of the prizes are for squirting, shooting or nailing something. And I am good at none of those. So the group of us are standing there to decide what to do next and we hear a voice.

"Three dollars - three dollars, let me guess your weight within three pounds and win a prize!"

I could do this one. And nobody is around but my friends. So I cough up the three bones and tell him to have at it. But he continues to announce what is going on! A crowd forms. A big crowd. He strolls around me and guesses. A decent guess. I'll take it. And the moment he let the words escape his mouth, I knew that stuffed monkey was mine.

"One hundred thirty pounds. Not a pound more. Not a pound less."

He coulda omitted that last part.

So I said "nope, you are way under."

"Hop on the scale."

SERIOUSLY?!?! So I get on. There is a surge forward from the crowd followed by a collective gasp. When the scale passed 15 lbs over his guess, I jumped off. It was humilating.

The guy who guessed then says "WOW girl, you must had eaten a ton of funnel cakes tonight! You better lay off em!"

I heard whispers of "do you see that girl? - she weighs alot!" and "that guy guessed her weight WAY under" and "well she does have a ghetto booty".

But on the up side I did get a monkey. His name is F.C.

It stands for funnel cake.

6 comments:

USANDCO said...

Awesome. I play that game every 2 weeks when I go to the OBGYN...it goes something like this. "Well Stephanie at this point in your pregnancy you should be gaining aprox. 1/2 pound a week. Step on up. WHAT? 3 more pounds!!!! Okay, we can deal with that, but remember you still have a few months to go, we don't want you or that baby to get TOO BIG."

Thanks, now give me some chocolate....better yet, a funnel cake.
S ;-)

Katie said...

WTF?!?!?!?! I would have been BEATING the crowd with newly-aquired FC for those comments. I'm so sorry! (and mad!) ::;running off to beat anyone who speaks to me:::

Jen M said...

How embarrassing! You gotta know the scale was rigged, right??

Katie said...

Jen, Katie & Steph - thanks so much for the rallying support of my "weighty" issue!

To answer your question Jen - unfortunately, no - the scale was not rigged. I know exactly how much I weigh - and I definitely won that monkey fair and square. Yea ME! And honestly I am quite proud of my ghetto bootie! But in all my bootilicious-ness, I was just not prepared for the comments, the crowds, and combined bad mood. My advise - walk away girls - walk away - no monkey is worth your dignity, stuffed or otherwise :)

XO - Katie

G+D said...

Oh hell no. That calls for a funnel cake to the face!!

Freckles Chick said...

OMG! You crack me up. Hey, speaking as someone who has no ass (our future nonexistent kids are screwed), I would kill for some ghadunk-ghadunk in my trunk.